oblivion

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

How good must it feel to be loved, appreciated and continuously fought for.

I feel myself sinking— already being shot to oblivion—I feel so helpless that I can’t do anything anymore.

This month has been nothing but isolating and painful for me. I keep begging the universe to end my pain already. Be done with it. No one cares.

And yet — I keep wishing somebody cared enough. I wish I mattered. I keep wishing I was important enough.

But nah.

Repeatedly, everyone just wants to throw me out once done.